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I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of living in a world fueled by fear where the loudest voice wins. There has to be something better.
Day after day, we are sucked into an unending blackhole of breaking news that repeats itself until the next juicy bit of information comes along. I’m tired of living in a world where unexpected tragedies are starting to become the norm. I’m so tired of Facebook friends that I thought were ‘normal’ (read agree with what I believe) say and share things that drive me up the wall in anger. If you’re reading this, I’m sure you're tired of all of this too.
We’ve all seen our Facebook feeds shift from simply being a friendly place where we catch up and connect with old friends and even make new ones to now consisting of trigger after trigger of shared videos or copy and pasted posts that are simply geared to create a negative emotional response within us, which then makes us so angry that it either motivates us to write a looooooong Facebook post that further divides or we just keep scrolling as we stew angrily over what we just saw or read until we get to another post that makes us even more angry! This is called Doomscrolling. None of us are immune and it's eroding our brains.
This past summer NYC, where I live, and many other places in the US erupted in protests because, surprise surprise, Black Lives DO in fact Matter. You might even be upset I just used that phrase. More recently though, we were all glued to our screens as we watched the Capitol Riots (yes, I spelled that right) take place as our elected officials certified that Joe Biden did indeed win the 2020 Presidential election and will become the 46th President of the United States (that fact might have even triggered you just now; plus you might be triggered again because I used the word ‘fact’ to describe our most recent election).
As I watched the recently attempted self-coup, I thought back over the past couple of years, remembered all of the friends that I personally have unfriended and ghosted on Facebook, and how quietly enraged I’ve been with the world that I currently live in; I thought to myself ... there HAS to be a better way. Unfriending people, ghosting others, canceling every voice that disagrees with mine, doom scrolling and deleting people, rioting, killing people who disagree, none of this is the answer. But neither is remaining silent and turning a blind eye to hatred, injustice, and the real needs of others around us. We’ve tried it our way for way too long and it has literally led us to hating one another so much that rioters beat police officers (whose lives they claim to matter) to death with a fire extinguisher. It’s hard to even believe that could happen, but it did. We have to do something different if we ever have a chance for something different.
Thankfully, the doom scrolling stops here. There is a better way forward. We actually have a perfect example of how to live differently even. This better alternative way that was exemplified to us so long ago will actually lead us to a better place and that example's name is Jesus.
Jesus models for us all in John 4 how to successfully build bridges of unity. Would it not be a better way for all of us to live if we collectively followed Jesus’ example and built bridges of unity with those who don’t look like you, act like you, worship like you, vote like you, or live in the same world that you interact with on a daily basis. Living the way that Jesus modeled for us over 2,000 years ago is our best and only way forward. So, let's jump into John 4 and see how Jesus intentionally built bridges of unity, reconciliation, and restoration that can lead us to a better way forward.
You can read the entire story in John 4:1-42. But here’s the CliffsNotes version:
Jesus was out with his crew preaching and baptizing people while gaining a bunch of followers (3:22-23). He decides it was time to leave that area and go back to his base (Galilee), but he had to pass through a region of the country that was hostile to Jewish people, like Jesus. He went anyway because, “he had to go.” (4:4) It was a long trip, so Jesus and the crew stopped outside of town to rest. Jesus camped out at the towns well, while his followers went to go get lunch. While Jesus was waiting, a woman came to the well to get some water. Jesus asked her if he could get a drink and she was shocked that a Jewish man was even talking to her because that did not happen back then. He was a part of that crowd, she was a part of this crowd, and these crowds did not mix well together. Jesus listened to her and finally responded that if she actually knew who he really was, she would have been asking him for living water! This really interested the woman and she kept asking questions and Jesus basically tells her her life story. This further surprised the woman and she ran and told a bunch of people what happened to her. They came out to the well and Jesus taught them and a bunch of them believed that Jesus was the who he said he was, the Son of God.
This event in John 4 actually holds a lot of truth and guidance for us today. This event from Jesus’ life shows us at least three things that we should be doing today if we want to be peacemakers and bridge builders for a better tomorrow. Those three things are as follows: positioning, listening, and offering.
Jesus built bridges by intentionally positioning himself.
John 4:4 says that Jesus “had to go through Samaria.”
No, he actually didn’t have too. There were multiple routes that Jesus could have taken which would have cut Samaria out all together and still got him to where he wanted to go.
In fact, John 3:22-23, shows that Jesus was closer to a route that would have been quicker from him and it would have eliminated traveling through a hostile region. This would have been the preferred route for most Jewish people. But not for Jesus.
He had to go through Samaria.
Most Jewish people stayed away from Samaria, they intentionally traveled around it even if it meant longer distances and rougher terrain. Jewish people did this because they hated Samaritans (John 8:48; Luke 10:33). For generations, the feud between the two groups had festered. There is a whole backstory that we could go through, but just trust me when I tell you that Jewish people did not interact or associate with Samaritans. From their point of view, there were no good samaritans.
But Jesus doesn’t go along with the crowd or the conventional wisdom of his day. Instead, he had to go through Samaria. Why? Geography shows us that he didn’t have to; yet, the Bible is telling us something different. Jesus had to go to Samaria because it was part of his overall mission of building bridges that brought unity and reconciliation between God and humanity. This was Jesus’ mission and it went straight through a town in a hostile area that hated Jewish people.
We see Jesus intentionally positionally himself to make the most impact with his life when he walked into that Samaritan town and into that woman’s life. It would have been easier to take the road that led him away from Samaria. It would have been more convenient to go around the people that didn’t worship like him or think the same as he did. It would have been easier for Jesus to have ghosted those Samaritan people. But he didn’t.
He had to go there. He had to be at that well by noon. He had to pay the physical toll it was going to cost to get to Samaria so that he could build a bridge and create a way forward with a group of people who hated his people.
That’s what bridge builders do. That’s what peacemakers do. They willingly pay the price in order to position themselves to make the most impact they can in people’s hearts and lives. They don’t delete people. They don’t ghost them. They don’t cancel them. Instead they strategically position themselves in order to listen intently to the other person. So that, one day, they will have enough relational capital built up that they will be heard and trusted. This is what we see Jesus doing and we should follow his lead.
Jesus built bridges by intentionally listening.
Because Jesus physically positioned himself to be at the right place, at the right time, with the right person - he was able to impact a woman’s life that literally changed an entire town. That’s how powerful your life can be when you intentionally position yourself to intentionally listen.
We don’t listen anymore. Yeah, we hear a lot of noise and a lot of people are screaming, but we aren’t listening to one another. The Harvard Business Review actually did a study that shows us that we aren’t good listeners, but we can be. According to their findings, good listeners just don’t sit there silently but interact with the speaker by asking questions that help the speaker discover more about themselves and gain greater insights. They also found that listening well builds confidence in the other person because they are having a cooperative two-way conversation where you are bouncing ideas off of each helping one another grow. Finally, the HBR suggests that being a good listener is a lot like being a trampoline. A good listener is “someone you can bounce ideas off of - and rather than absorbing your ideas and energy [like a sponge], they amplify, energize, and clarify your thinking. They make you feel better not merely passively absorbing, but actively supporting.”
We see Jesus doing all of this perfectly because he was intentionally positioning himself to intentionally listen to a who viewed herself as Jesus’ cultural enemy.
After asking the woman for a drink, Jesus allows the woman to work through her shock, surprise, and disdain of his request. She was right. Based on her life experience, Jewish men don’t interact with people like her. We are witnessing a cultural and racial war at this well and Jesus gives her the space she needs to wrestle through that.
Once she’s done, Jesus doesn’t just leave her alone and further the divide, instead he actively engages her in a conversation that is intentionally geared toward her benefit. He says that if she knew who he was, she would be asking him for living water. This sparked her curiosity and it led to a redemptive conversation where Jesus gently guided her through her life story and gingerly revealed to her the issues in her life and that there was a solution for the things she was searching for.
Jesus would not have been able to do this if he would have behaved that I have online. Instead of gently guiding conversations that lead people to peace, reconciliation, and redemption; I like to win the argument and prove that I am right because I have the facts on my side. I might win the argument, but I lose any redemptive impact available to me because I short-circuit anything the Holy Spirit could do during that conversation.
I’m not the only guilty one either. Everyone is doing this in our culture right now, but we don’t have too. We can intentionally live our lives like Jesus lived his by intentionally positioning ourselves in the lives of others so that we can have intentional conversations where we listen well and lead others to redemption and restoration and sanity.
Lastly, we see Jesus doing the hardest and most unimaginable thing of all. He intentionally offers himself to the other person.
Jesus built bridges by intentionally offering himself.
After Jesus hears all of the woman’s complaints and shocked frustrations with his request for water. Jesus reveals that if she knew who he truly was, she would have been asking him for living water! This surprises the lady even more and should surprise us today.
You see, the living water is not The Waterboys "high quality H2O."
This living water isn’t found in some other well or reservoir that this woman is unfamiliar with. No, the living water that Jesus is offering this woman is himself. He is the living water who offers spiritual freedom and forgiveness that nourishes our lives and gives true purpose and freedom. Jesus even stressed this point again in John 7:37-38.
On the last day, the climax of the festival, Jesus stood and shouted to the crowds, “Anyone who is thirsty may come to me! Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’” - John 7:37-38
This woman, like most of us, was drinking from many fountains. She had multiple husbands, she was a social outcast, hence gathering heavy amounts of water to be carried by herself during the hottest time of day … in the desert! She had tried everything this world had to offer her: sex, money, comfort, stability, you name it. None of it had worked, until Jesus intentionally positioned himself in her life so that he could intentionally listen to her and intentionally offer her freedom and a life that he only can give.
We all need that living water. We all have tried alternative sources of life and they have all failed us. Whether it be politics, science, sex, money, comfort, status, you fill in the ; we’ve tried to fill out lives with inferior sources and they have failed us. But Jesus is ready to give us his living water so that our thirsty souls will finally thirst no more.
If you have a relationship with Jesus and you’ve tasted the living water that he alone gives, then it is time for you to start intentionally living your life like Jesus did and start positioning yourself in peoples lives so that you can listen to them, understand them, and offer them the solution to what they are searching for.
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Let’s discover, develop, and deepen our relationships with Jesus together.